Tag Archives: Family

An evening of fun & frolic with Peek Freans Rio

As a parent, one is always on the lookout for opportunities to take the kids out to something fun and exciting out of the routine. Thus, when I got the invite from Asiatic Public Relations to the Rio Fun Carnival, I immediately whatsapped the invite to my kids’ secretary (AKA Mrs DM) to check on their busy schedule.

“We have a play date at a friend’s house in the evening.”

Ah! Just my luck. There goes my chance to spend some quality time with ’em! And I was a bit behind on my hours logged as a cool dad since the previous weekend I had been tied up with accompanying Ustaadh Adnan Rashid, while he was in Karachi for AlKauthar Karachi‘s workshop Signs of The Hour. And I had another meeting/dinner coming up on Sunday night.

The phone beeped and it was Mrs DM. The kids wanted to skip the play date and go to the Carnival! Yay!

We were met at the gate by APR folks who guided us through to the special area where the evening festivities were to take place. There were various attractions for the kids like a clown and face painting.

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There were also plenty of goodies to be had — popcorn and cotton candy without measure. IB (my elder son) must have had atleast 5 of those cotton candies!). And ofcourse there were plenty of ticky packs of Rio — Pakistan’s Favorite Cream Biscuit — for all to much on.

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Even I dived into a pack.

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We had some very young participants to the carnival too…

The evening’s festivities were conducted by the entertaining and hilarious Khalid Malik, who can get kids as involved as he can adults. Incidentally, I first met Khalid at a trip to the beach that APR organized on behalf of Coke and our paths have crossed many a times since.

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Speaking on the occasion, Zulfiqar Ali Ansari, Head of Marketing at English Biscuit Manufacturers (Pvt.) Ltd. (EBM), the makers of Peek Freans RIO, stated, “When you think of Peek Freans RIO, you think of the fun-filled and flavourful experience it provides, especially for children, as they are the main target consumers of this product. We at EBM strongly believe that an essential part of growing up is to have an active lifestyle, and our event is aimed to bring home this message in a fun way.”

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Prizes such as X-boxes, play stations, bicycles, toys, stationery sets and branded gift hampers were given throughout the evening to winners who were chosen earlier through a competition that required people to text unique codes printed on Peek Freans RIO packs to a designated number. There were some very happy kids from all over Karachi that evening with big gift boxes.

The evening festivities also included a great juggling performance and a magic show that had the kids (and their parents) thoroughly entertained.

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And this carnival seemed to have something common with the melas of Bollywood fame…

And once all the fun and frolic inside was over was all over, we had the opportunity to us free passes to some of the rides in the amusement park.

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All in all the evening was filled with fun and excitement. A much needed family evening of fun courtesy English Biscuit Manufacturers (Private) Limited.

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20 Ways to Reinforce Good Behavior in Children

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Cross Post by Erin Kurt

Why is it easier to say something to our kids when we’re angry at them than when they are doing what we want them to do?

Picture a lazy Sunday afternoon and you’re reading your favorite magazine while sipping a cup of tea. Your children are in the next room playing a game together, having a wonderful time and getting along famously. What are the chances that you would get up, walk to the next room and say, “It’s so nice to see you two having such a great time together”? Probably slim. Why? Because when we parents are happy and content ourselves, we aren’t particularly motivated to move from what’s making us content.

Now imagine that your children in the next room begin screaming and arguing. Your heart begins to beat faster, anger begins to swell inside you and thoughts like, “What is going on? Why can’t they just play nicely? I was having such a relaxing time by myself!” begin to run through your head. Now you are motivated – you are MAD! What are the chances of you getting up, stomping into the next room and yelling at the kids to, “Be quiet!”?

Unfortunately, the outcome of this “Speak only when we see negative behavior Syndrome” is that our kids mostly hear from us when we have something negative to say rather than positive feedback. They receive the message that they are just annoying to us.

The antidote? Positive verbal and non-verbal reinforcement.

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Here are 20 ways to show or tell your children that you appreciate their positive behaviors.

  1. “Thanks for wiping the kitchen counter so nicely”
  2. “I think you got ready for school in record time this morning!”
  3. “I loved how you persevered after getting frustrated with your homework tonight.”
  4. “I saw you on the soccer field. You played hard!”
  5. “It was so nice dining out with you tonight.”
  6. “Have I told you lately how much I appreciate how you keep your room so tidy?”
  7. Give a rub on the back after your child has done something you asked.
  8. Give your child a wink and a smile after they accomplish something difficult to show you are proud of them.
  9. Give your child a thumb or two thumbs up after you see him/her completing a task around the house.
  10. “Good job on that math test, Julie. I know you studied hard.”
  11. “I’m so proud of how you _______________.”
  12. “I’m so proud to call you my son/daughter.”
  13. Write a special note and put it in your child’s desk at school.
  14. Write a special note and put it in your child’s lunch bag.
  15. Smile at your child and stroke their hair after they have made a good choice about something.
  16. Buy a “just because” toy, game, or puzzle and attach a note or card expressing the reason you are giving the gift. Do they always hang up their coat which keeps your house tidy? Do they always finish their homework on time?
  17. “That puppy really likes you!”
  18. “Dad and I were so proud of the way you behaved tonight at our friend’s house. You were polite and tried to join in the conversation.”
  19. “Wow, how creative. I like how you used the color purple here”
  20. Leave a heart-shaped note in your child’s jacket pocket thanking him/her for a job well done on a task they always do around the house.

In order to remind themselves to use praise, some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, “notice the positive” or “catch ’em doing good.”.

Catch your kids being good. It will have a profound effect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes, I assure you it will be worth it.

How do you reinforce the behavior in your household? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. Erin has also recently launched the Stress-Free Parenting Club, a private, exclusive club for women. For other great tips and to receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit http://www.erinparenting.com.



5 Secrets to Raising a Courteous, Well-Mannered Child

by Erin A. Kurt

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It is such a beautiful feeling when everywhere you go people marvel at how lovely it is to be around your child, whether it be in a store, restaurant, friendly visit or classroom. It is not so lovely when you cringe inside at your child’s behavior, rudeness or lack of ability to interact confidently in a social environment. So, how do we ensure that we raise well-mannered, socially competent and polite children?

There are some basic strategies that are highly effective. One is to learn and use my 4-Step Discipline technique as this creates the perfect platform in which to build upon. Children learn how to be self-disciplined from it and research shows that self-disciplined children are more self-confident, polite, compassionate and generally nice to be around.

Other effective ways are:

1. Prioritize Courtesy

Commit to raising a courteous child. Reinforce politeness and the importance of good manners everyday so your kids know that that is how your family treats people in and out of the home. Being civil, respectful and courteous is expected. Period. You do not listen or give attention to mouthy, rude talking.

2. Be an example of courtesy.

Children learn how “to be” by observing us (their parents). So, remember to always say please and thank you, excuse me, I’m sorry, and speak kindly to and of others. Seeing you and your partner do this consistently will show your child that this is just normal behavior for your family.

3. Model new manners.

When my son was old enough (3 years old), we taught him how to politely order at a restaurant and ask for the bill. He feels so important and confident and of course, we always reinforce how his manners impacted the waiter or waitress, i.e.: smiles, laughter, happiness.

4. Comment when you see other people using good manners.

When someone holds a door open for you, be sure to say, “Thank you” to the person then continue with, “That was very kind of that man to hold the door for us, wasn’t it?” My son, now 3 1/2 years old, will hold doors open for people – imagine the smiles he gets! His comments are, “Mommy, I helped that lady. She smiled at me!”

5. Use the phrase, “Try that again in a polite way.”

When your child responds to you or anyone else in an impolite way be sure to point it out and use the phrase above. If they refuse simply say, “When you talk nicely I’ll listen to you” or if need be, use my 4-Step Discipline Technique.

Vast numbers of studies find that well-mannered children are more popular and do better in school. Teachers speak glowingly of them and parents make sure they are on the top of their kid’s invite lists. Let’s face it, polite children are just nicer to be around!

In addition to this, courteous kids are more considerate of others thoughts and feelings and are more respectful. Courteous kids also have an edge in adult life too, as businesses report that their first interview choices are applicants who display good social graces.

All in all, it pays to raise well-mannered children; you benefit, your children benefit and the world benefits. I’d say it’s a pretty important priority, wouldn’t you?

Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. video series and receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit www.erinparenting.com.

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10 Ways to Make Your Child Feel Special

What is the REAL purpose of being a parent?

A new session Of Active Saturdays starts 22 January 2011 | #Karachi #Pakistan #Islam

10 Ways to Make Your Child Feel Special

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by Erin A. Kurt

 

As parents we all want our children to know we love them, but do they always know that we LIKE them?

When our children know that we LIKE them for sure, it has a much deeper effect on their love of themselves. They also feel extra safe and secure; as if what they thought they knew can now be accepted as truth.

Although it’s important to tell your children you love them often, here are 10 ways you can deepen the understanding that you really mean what you say.

1. Make a big deal out of greetings and good-byes Let him know you’re always excited to see him.

2. Touch a lot. Hold hands. Tousle hair. Hug.

3. Once a month go on a special outing alone with her. Walk through the park, share an ice cream sundae, take a bike ride. Do anything that allows lots of time for interaction. But choose something you both enjoy. She needs to see you having a good time.

4. Ask to sit next to him at dinner, in the car, or at the movies.

5. Know what’s going on in her daily schedule and ask how that science quiz went or if the field trip was interesting. Tell her you’ll think of (pray for) her on big days. And then do it.

6. Use a pet name.

7. Ask for hugs and kisses often.

8. Include him in weekly menu planning. Ask him what he would like in his lunch (healthy options of course) as well as grocery store suggestions.

9. Trust her to take a picture on the family vacation, or to use the mixer to help you make a cake. She can do anything you believe she can do.

10. Leave an encouraging message in his lunch box on a day he’s been dreading, or…just because!

 

Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. video series and receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit www.erinparenting.com.

Related Posts

What is the REAL purpose of being a parent?

A new session Of Active Saturdays starts 22 January 2011 | #Karachi #Pakistan #Islam

What is the REAL purpose of being a parent?

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If I asked you, “What is the main purpose of a parent?” I’d probably get the following responses:

1. To be their child’s guide in life
2. To love their child unconditionally
3. To teach their child good values
4. To protect their child
5. To offer their child support through life

Although all of the above are important and offer a beautiful image of what a loving parent/child relationship can look like, I would like to suggest that the REAL goal of any parent should be to teach their child to become their own parent.

We need a new generation of kids – ones who rely on themselves, who avoid emotional letdowns, who know they have skills and the ability to use them and who lead happy and fulfilled lives without needing to consult their parent (You) forever.

How can we accomplish this? There are some specific ways that I teach, however the most powerful way is to allow our children to make choices based on how each choice makes them feel and how their choice will make others feel.

From as early on as possible, probably starting at around 3-4 years old, teach your child that when they make a choice – any choice at all – they should ask themselves two things:

a. What are the consequences of this choice?
b. Will this choice I’m making now bring happiness to me and/or those around me?

I used to have a very large poster hanging on the wall in my classroom that read: If you make a choice you must be willing to accept the consequence of that choice.

I referred to this poster over and over again and it became one of our class mantras. The children became very conscious when they were about to make a choice and therefore behaviours and classroom dynamics were incredible. In addition to this, children began feeling better about themselves and more confident. Even the students who came in with a “bad kid” legacy changed. They began to see that they were in control of their lives, that they had a choice and that good choices led to positive outcomes for themselves and the others around them.

When teaching your child how to consciously make a good choice, state the choices then say,

“Think about the choice you are about to make. How does your body FEEL inside? Is it one of comfort or discomfort?”

I tell children that most people feel these sensations in their heart/chest area or in their stomach. Making this a concrete/feeling experience is the perfect way to help kids understand the concept as well as get them to connect to their inner voice more often.

Train them to say to themselves, “If I make this choice, what happens?” If their body sends a message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If their body sends a message of discomfort, then it’s probably not the appropriate choice.

Kids really tune into this and it makes sense to them when you put it this way. The added benefit of this is that you’re teaching your child to stop and tune into themselves – what an invaluable and forever giving gift you’ll be giving!

 

Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. video series and receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit http://www.erinparenting.com.