Cross Post by Erin Kurt
Why is it easier to say something to our kids when we’re angry at them than when they are doing what we want them to do?
Picture a lazy Sunday afternoon and you’re reading your favorite magazine while sipping a cup of tea. Your children are in the next room playing a game together, having a wonderful time and getting along famously. What are the chances that you would get up, walk to the next room and say, “It’s so nice to see you two having such a great time together”? Probably slim. Why? Because when we parents are happy and content ourselves, we aren’t particularly motivated to move from what’s making us content.
Now imagine that your children in the next room begin screaming and arguing. Your heart begins to beat faster, anger begins to swell inside you and thoughts like, “What is going on? Why can’t they just play nicely? I was having such a relaxing time by myself!” begin to run through your head. Now you are motivated – you are MAD! What are the chances of you getting up, stomping into the next room and yelling at the kids to, “Be quiet!”?
Unfortunately, the outcome of this “Speak only when we see negative behavior Syndrome” is that our kids mostly hear from us when we have something negative to say rather than positive feedback. They receive the message that they are just annoying to us.
The antidote? Positive verbal and non-verbal reinforcement.
Here are 20 ways to show or tell your children that you appreciate their positive behaviors.
“Thanks for wiping the kitchen counter so nicely”
“I think you got ready for school in record time this morning!”
“I loved how you persevered after getting frustrated with your homework tonight.”
“I saw you on the soccer field. You played hard!”
“It was so nice dining out with you tonight.”
“Have I told you lately how much I appreciate how you keep your room so tidy?”
Give a rub on the back after your child has done something you asked.
Give your child a wink and a smile after they accomplish something difficult to show you are proud of them.
Give your child a thumb or two thumbs up after you see him/her completing a task around the house.
“Good job on that math test, Julie. I know you studied hard.”
“I’m so proud of how you _______________.”
“I’m so proud to call you my son/daughter.”
Write a special note and put it in your child’s desk at school.
Write a special note and put it in your child’s lunch bag.
Smile at your child and stroke their hair after they have made a good choice about something.
Buy a “just because” toy, game, or puzzle and attach a note or card expressing the reason you are giving the gift. Do they always hang up their coat which keeps your house tidy? Do they always finish their homework on time?
“That puppy really likes you!”
“Dad and I were so proud of the way you behaved tonight at our friend’s house. You were polite and tried to join in the conversation.”
“Wow, how creative. I like how you used the color purple here”
Leave a heart-shaped note in your child’s jacket pocket thanking him/her for a job well done on a task they always do around the house.
In order to remind themselves to use praise, some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, “notice the positive” or “catch ‘em doing good.”.
Catch your kids being good. It will have a profound effect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes, I assure you it will be worth it.
How do you reinforce the behavior in your household? Let us know in the comments below!
Erin A. Kurt, Stress-Free Parenting Expert, is founder of ErinParenting.com and the author of Juggling Family Life: A Step-By-Step Guide to Stress-Free Parenting, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to raise happy, respectful and well-adjusted kids in just 3 steps…guaranteed. Erin has also recently launched the Stress-Free Parenting Club, a private, exclusive club for women. For other great tips and to receive her stress-free parenting articles on how to parent without yelling and get your kids to listen to you the first time, visit http://www.erinparenting.com.
I received the following email request from the Children’s Cancer Hospital for help in fundraising for the purchase of equipment required in setting up their own blood bank.
Alhamdolillah, we are establishing our own blood bank at CCH. Pakistan Baitul Mal and SSGC has recently helped us in getting main equipments. We are in need of some more equipments. Plz find the attached list of required equipments highlighted in yellow. I would appreciate if we can find the donors for these equipments. Looking forward for your help.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS EQUIPMENT CAN NOT BE BOUGHT FROM ZAKAT MONEY.
Alhamdulillah I have been informed that the team has received donations to cover all the equipment. You can still help the hospital by donating to their efforts.
February 10, 2012
To: All Member Companies of PPMA
LETTER FOR THE EMBASSIES
As you may already know regarding the unfortunate deaths reported at the Punjab Institute of Cardiology in the past few weeks. We, the Pakistan Pharmaceutical Manufacturers’ Association (PPMA), the representative body of the Pakistan pharma industry have been shocked by this tragedy and have full sympathies with the affected families. We have been having contacts and meetings with the authorities and also with the technical personnel in our member companies all over Pakistan. The main purpose of the contacts and meetings was to
1. To ascertain the facts
2. To review the Quality Assurance/ Quality Control and cGMP guidelines and SOPs for validation.
These measures would be vital to prevent any further mishap of this nature.
Coming now to the facts; the samples were sent to the government labs as well as independent labs in the UK and Belgium. So far we have seen reports of one batch from a particular company being contaminated. However, we are unable to share the details as the matter is subjudice as the Supreme Court of Pakistan has taken Suo Moto notice of the entire matter.
We would like to mention here that due to lot of hype created by the media, panic has been created in the public’s mind that all locally produced medicines are spurious and sub-standard. We started getting enquiries from the foreign buyers of our medicines, asking our manufacturers to clarify the matter. In at least two cases, the orders have been cancelled by the foreign buyers. We held press conference in Karachi, Lahore, and Islamabad where we stated the facts of the matter with a view of restraining the media not to spread the misinformation campaign as it would shatter the trust that the National pharma industry has built in the public over several decades, and would lead to its collapse, paving way for counterfeits to fill the vacuum that would be created in the market. The National pharma industry is exporting to over 60 countries and the total exports are around USD 170 million. 40% of the leading brands of medicines marketed by MNCs in Pakistan are manufactured by National companies under contract manufacturing. This is reflective of the quality manufacturing of the National industry and the trust reposed in it. We would like to mention that the exported drugs also undergo stringent quality control checks in their respective importing countries (case in point, Afghanistan where all batches are quarantined for 15 days by their Ministry of Health and then released for marketing after QC clearance), suggesting additional safeguards for the patients.
Incidence like this one, though unfortunate, happens even in developed markets and big MNCs have recalled contaminated batches, after deaths were reported. We strongly feel that the entire industry’s image should not be damaged because of once in a lifetime incident like this one.
We hope that we have been able to give our viewpoint, and would like to assure you that the PPMA is doing whatever it can to prevent such an occurrence in the future. Our members have already started the process of re-validation in their manufacturing process. We seek your understanding and support in the matter.
Thanks and regards
Executive Director/ Secretary General PPMA
c.c. Mr. Tariq Ikram, Acting Chairman PPMA
Mr. Muhammad Asad, Chairman PPMA (on leave)